“Keep moving forward.”
It’s week 3 of COVID-19 home-school. Our lives have been both simplified and complicated. Our business feels like it’s in stasis, yet we have rarely felt busier. I have been forced to slow down, yet also feel an inexorable pull to hustle my face off and strive to “beat” the rest of the world as it gradually gets back onto its feet. My practices to maintain my own sense of inner peace have never been more at the forefront of my existence, and yet I feel like I’ve had more arguments with my loved ones in the past week – deep, roaring, angry, ego-driven arguments – than I have had in years.
I am beginning to write again as a way of doing something for myself.
I need to create. I need to express myself. I need to know that I can bring something unique and valuable into the world that wouldn’t exist if I weren’t here.
And, frankly, I’m feeling worn out from working so hard on something that has no roadmap. I love and cherish The Root Cause, and as with any business in its early stages, I regularly feel so far off the map and out of my comfort zone, that I don’t actually have any reference point. In cartographic speak, I’m roughly in the middle of here.
By contrast, the “Inspirational Quotograph” (IQ) format is one I know and love. After all, I created it, and have published over 600 of them. There’s a certain level of “muscle memory” inherent in this format, having gone through the process so many times before, even if I have been disconnected from this format for several years.
When it comes to these IQs, I make the rules, and I have control. And in today’s world of lockdowns, social distancing (ugh, what a concept), and massive fear leaching into everything, I need some certainty anchors.
“Certainty Anchors” are a concept written about by Jonathan Fields, and which he defines as, “A practice or process that adds something known and reliable to your life when you may otherwise feel you’re spinning off in a million directions.”
Here, looking at the WordPress post editor screen, I feel a sense of safety and comfort. I’m able to tap into my own feelings easily – more easily, perhaps, than with a pen and paper. And somehow it also draws forth from me a desire to serve others and find the Universal lesson(s) from what I’m experiencing.
So, then. What lesson today?
Keep moving forward. That’s the phrase that came to me when I sat down to create today.
Lately, I have felt SO MUCH like I am trudging through mud, unsure of how I am contributing or bringing value to the world. I am sure of very little, except that I have some value to give somewhere.
So I focus my energy on what I can do, what I can control:
- My self-care practices. (Good sleep. Good food. Daily meditation. Exercise.)
- Using my gifts for something useful, like these posts.
- Figuratively putting one foot in front of the other. Even if it feels like I’m trudging through mud.
I’m doing a LOT of introspection. Possibly (probably) too much. I’m also sleeping a lot. And despite doing my best to be productive, I’m finding it difficult to reconcile the desire to do the same things when it feels like all my goalposts and playing field and even rules of the game keep changing every day.
For now, I think I need to simplify my goals even more, and simply focus on being just a little better today than I was yesterday.
I intend to keep moving forward.