My heart is VERY full of fertile seeds, waiting to sprout.
I learned this a long time ago at a personal development course called The Landmark Forum. Life went from good to great. I created new possibilities in every area of my life, and was introduced to the concept of Universal Responsibility. Understanding and owning that where I am in life is because of choices I have made. I am the one with whom the buck stops. (And starts.) My heart was huge, open, and filled with love for everyone and everything. I had one of the most successful periods in my life, as my business grew, I won photography awards (some big ones too), and I started a family with my darling wife.
Then I forgot.
My life became filled with business, work, stress, management, money, clients, production, marriage, kids, work, financial stress, overwhelm, physical burnout, emotional burnout, depression. That last one – depression – was a real bugger. It outstayed its welcome by a LONG shot, and closed my heart like it was closing a door on the way out.
(Protect myself. Stay small. Don’t dream. Hide. Be afraid. Be wary of stepping outside the door again.)
Then, at the start of this year, I started yoga every day, and my heart opened up – a tiny, tiny crack.
I felt like I could venture out the door again, and maybe see what sunshine felt like. I started to love myself. I was kinder, more peaceful. I opened the door, took a few tentative steps, and stood, basking in the sunshine. Relationships with my wife and kids improved. Business felt great. My world was happy.
Then I forgot again. My heart closed that tiny crack back up.
(Protect myself. Stay small – didn’t you learn, last time? Don’t venture outside. It’s dangerous. You might get hurt. You might fail. You probably will – remember last time?)
It started with business troubles. Linking self-worth to financial position. Boredom. Short attention span. Social media frenzy. Stopping yoga. Physical injury. Emotional excuse-making. Stopping running and surfing. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Overwhelm. Underwhelm. No direction. Too many directions. Self-destructive behaviour. Too much caffeine. Hating myself.
Then, on my beautiful wife’s recommendation, I went to Oneness Cafe, and had a few Oneness Blessings, and my heart opened again.
I felt alive again, more alive than I’d felt in a long time. I floated home, at peace with the world. I related to my wife and kids better again. I started to love myself again. I read a great book by Kamal Ravikant about the power of saying “I love myself” to myself, over and over again. I started to feel like I could not only step into the sunshine, but maybe run around and give people some high-fives again. Maybe even share a little, tiny piece of myself with the world again.
Then, I went to Fargo, and my heart was opened so far it felt like the entire world could fit inside. (And it probably can. I’m only just starting to walk around and see the enormity of my heart-space… like visiting a display home, where you keep turning corners and thinking “Wow, look at all this space!”)
I am still buzzing. I am taking action on things I’ve been “meaning to do” for months. I’m hitting goals. I’m enjoying my family. I’m coming up with amazing ideas for my business. My wife and I are taking huge steps forward on our family’s biggest project ever, and we’re excited about it.
I feel my heart.
I mean I really, truly, feel it now.
In Fargo, so many amazing people with a similar perspective on life – yet all with our own unique perspective too – came together and impacted each other enormously. I fully expect the ripples to be felt for years.
In Sydney, I am opening my heart to as many people as I can. The world needs more open hearts.
When I open my heart, and show people how much love I have to share – freely, unconditionally with them – then they won’t feel so scared to open their heart to me, and to other people in their own life. It’s a slow process, but I can feel it starting, like the gentle glow of the pre-dawn kissing the horizon.
And what about you?
“Your heart is full of fertile seeds, waiting to sprout.” – Morihei Ueshiba
Your heart IS full of fertile seeds, waiting to sprout.
But here’s the thing.
Your heart needs to be open, for the sunshine to come in and help the seeds sprout and grow.
Is your heart open?